How Do I Decide What to Do About an Unexpected Pregnancy?

You’ve confirmed you’re pregnant. You’ve learned that you have options. Maybe you’ve even started learning about what each pregnancy option involves.

But now you may be asking the harder question:

How do I decide what to do about an unexpected pregnancy?

You may feel like you need to figure everything out right away. You may have questions about your future, your relationship, your finances, school, work, or what other people will think.

You don’t have to have every answer today.

If you’re still trying to understand your choices, our guide on how to think through which pregnancy option might fit your situation can help you identify what matters most to you. And if you want a straightforward look at the practical side of each choice, read what each pregnancy option involves.

Once you understand your options, the next step may be giving yourself space to think about what they could mean for your life.

Before trying to make a decision, make sure you know the basics about your pregnancy.

You may want to know:

• Is my pregnancy confirmed?
• How far along am I?
• What information do I still need?
• Are there health questions I should ask a healthcare provider?
• Are there timing considerations I need to understand?

An ultrasound may provide additional information about a pregnancy, including gestational age, pregnancy location, and development.

You don’t have to answer every question at once.

Start with what you know.

Then make a list of what you still need to know.

Sometimes a decision feels overwhelming because there is simply too much information missing.

Ask yourself:

What am I still wondering about?

Maybe you don’t understand how an option works.

Maybe you’re unsure about the timeline.

Maybe you’re wondering what something would cost.

Maybe you’re concerned about how a decision could affect school, work, your relationship, or your future.

Write your questions down.

You can also ask a qualified healthcare provider, adoption professional, or other appropriate resource for information specific to your situation.

Getting more information doesn’t commit you to a particular choice.

Learning is not the same as deciding.

There isn’t one formula for making a pregnancy decision.

Your circumstances are different from someone else’s.

As you think through how to decide what to do about an unexpected pregnancy, consider the parts of your life that matter to you.

School and Work

Think about your current plans.

• Would pregnancy or parenting affect school?
• Would you need time away from work?
• What childcare would you need?
• Are there resources that could help?

You don’t have to assume what will happen. Look for specific information about the support and resources available to you.

Housing and Finances

Money and housing can be important practical questions.

You might ask:

• Where would I live?
• What would my housing situation look like?
• What expenses would I need to plan for?
• What financial support or resources might be available?

Understanding your actual circumstances can be more helpful than trying to imagine every possible scenario.

Relationships

Your relationships may be part of your decision.

You may be thinking about:

• Your partner
• Your parents
• Your family
• Your friends
• The people you already depend on for support

Consider what role you want other people to have in your decision.

Their opinions may matter to you, but you can still take time to think about what you want and what information you need.

Your Personal Goals

It is okay to think about your future.

What are you working toward?

What are your plans for the next year? The next five years?

You might think about education, career goals, relationships, family, travel, finances, or other things that matter to you.

Your goals are part of your circumstances.

Sometimes the hardest part of making a pregnancy decision isn’t knowing your options. It’s dealing with what other people want you to choose.

A partner may strongly want one outcome.

A parent or family member may have a different opinion.

Friends may tell you what they think you should do.

People can care about you and still have opinions that are different from yours.

Ask yourself:

Am I making this decision because it reflects what I want, or because I’m afraid of what someone else will do or say?

If someone is threatening you, controlling your access to money or transportation, monitoring you, or making you afraid to make your own decision, consider talking with someone you trust about what you’re experiencing.

You deserve the opportunity to ask questions and understand your choices without intimidation.

You don’t have to know exactly what support you would need before asking about it.

Think about who you could turn to for:

• A ride to an appointment
• Help with childcare
• A place to stay
• Emotional support
• Financial or practical help
• Medical questions
• Parenting resources
• Adoption information
• Other community resources

Your support system may look different depending on the decision you’re considering.

If you don’t have much support right now, that is important information too.

You can ask what resources may be available in your community.

Going back and forth doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing something wrong.

You may understand your options and still have questions.

You may feel one way in the morning and differently at night.

You may be thinking about what you want while also thinking about what other people expect from you.

Instead of asking yourself, “Why can’t I just decide?”, try asking:

• What question keeps coming back?
• What information am I missing?
• What am I most concerned about?
• What would I need to feel more prepared?
• Who could help me get an answer?

Sometimes identifying the next question is more useful than trying to force yourself to have the final answer.

Making a pregnancy decision doesn’t mean you have to solve every part of your future at the same time.

You can take it one step at a time.

Confirm your pregnancy.

Learn what each option involves.

Ask the questions you still have.

Think about your circumstances.

Identify the support you may need.

Then consider what you want to do next.

Timing can matter for some pregnancy-related decisions, so getting accurate information early can help you understand what choices and timelines apply to your situation.

You don’t have to rush just because you feel overwhelmed.

But you also don’t have to wait until you’re overwhelmed to start getting answers.

If you’re trying to figure out how to decide what to do about an unexpected pregnancy, you don’t have to start with a decision.

You can start with questions.

Community Pregnancy Center offers confidential, non-judgmental support where you can learn more about your pregnancy, ask questions, and get information about your options.

You don’t have to know what you want to do before you reach out.

You can just say, “I’m pregnant, and I have questions.”

You don’t have to figure out your entire future today.

Start with what you know.

Ask what you still need to know.

Then take your next step.

Your pregnancy. Your questions. Your next step.